Most couples wait between 13 and 18 months from saying “yes” to saying “I do”. [i]And in an ideal world, long engagements present the perfect, relatively low-pressure opportunity to thoroughly consider (and sometimes reconsider) exactly how you want your wedding day to be. Do you want a luxury venue or something simple and low key? Do you want to go abroad or do you want to stay local. Church or registry office? Full length and fabulous or on-the-knee and quirky? Rustic summer ceremony or romantic mid-winter wedding?
The thing is, we don’t live in an ideal world, and sometimes engagements need to be kept short with the most important day of your life being pulled together in a matter of weeks or months. Whatever the reason you’re rushing down the aisle – and believe me I could make a list as long as my arm from all the different ones I’ve heard over the years – there are a couple of tricks to keep the stress down to a minimum.
Keep an open mind
Long engagements give you plenty of time to book your preferred venue and suppliers on the day and month and year you’ve planned. If you can afford to wait to tie the knot, you definitely have more options and are less likely to have to compromise on your dream day.
But, in deciding to keep the engagement brief, you’re signing up for compromise. By keeping an open mind about everything from the get go, you prevent setting yourself up for disappointment when your favourite cake maker is booked up or that amazing makeup artist is on holiday. If you keep an open mind from the start you might just be surprised to find out that the perfect wedding day of your dreams, doesn’t even compare to the magical day you end up creating by having to think outside the box and consider alternative options.
Don’t be afraid to use it to your advantage
If you’re keeping the engagement short and sweet, you do become a bit of a catch for wedding suppliers and venues who still have availability or cancelations to fill. Don’t approach finding suppliers as if they’re doing you a favour, approach them knowing that you’ll be doing them one! Be cheeky and suggest a last minute discount on booking or some extras thrown in to sweeten the deal. After all, the worst they can say is “no”.
Make a ‘wedmin’ plan of attack
If you’re not a super organised and efficient ‘Monica from Friends’ type – now’s the time to become one! When you have all the time in the world, flying by the seat of your pants and delaying decision making is one thing. When you have a very limited timeframe to organise a wedding, you need to approach it with military precision. So, get that spreadsheet together, set interim targets and deadlines for things like booking and paying for flowers, venues, catering and decorations and sending out save the dates and invitations to guests. Allocate actions to your other half and sit down on a weekly basis to review progress. It might sound farfetched, but it’s what you need to do to make getting hitched go without a hitch!
Outsource, outsource, outsource
Remember, you’re not alone. Can’t afford to hand over the stress of organising a wedding to a professional wedding planner? Fear not. Most venues will take some of the burden from you – whether it’s suggesting and liaising with suppliers or communicating with guests in advance of the day about anything from dietary requirements to accommodation. Family members and friends are also great people to approach for a bit of pro-bono wedding support. Running errands and helping the bride stay relaxed and happy in the run up to her big day is all part of the job of a bridesmaid, so don’t be afraid to ask them for help. Chances are, if you haven’t already, you’ll be returning the favour one day anyway.
Don’t lose sight of what’s important
We all want our wedding to be an amazing, unforgettable day, but it’s important to take a step back from the drama of wedding planning against the clock and remember that what’s most important is the marriage you’re entering into, and who you’re entering in to it with. In the end, that’s all that really matters isn’t it?
Michelle Clarke, senior event manager and wedding coordinator at the Marriott Breadsall Priory
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