Planning a wedding can be a wonderful experience. It’s an exciting time of your life. You are about to commit to spending the rest of your life with the person of your dreams. You have probably spent a great deal of time imagining the perfect wedding celebration. You are bound to be excited, nervous and happy. What you probably didn’t consider was how stressful the whole process could be and the effects that stress is having on you. The excitement and ceremony of the whole event builds a momentum of its own and that can distract us from the anxiety we can often feel around any big life change. Luckily there are many things you can do to help pre wedding nerves.
Always put your future spouse first. Seems simple but when in the throes of planning a wedding we can easily become overwhelmed with the task and can often forget that there are actually two people involved in this wedding. And those two people will be in the marriage afterwards. Try to stay with the “we” not the “I” Get into good habits now by including your spouse in the planning. Communication is the key – so talk, talk, talk. It is vital to maintain perspective throughout the whole planning process so talking to your partner and bouncing ideas back and forth is an important part of helping that happen, and sets up a healthy blueprint for your future relationship.
So plan it out together. Make a reasonable plan for your wedding that is manageable and create a backup plan for emergencies. Part of the plan is going to be creating a budget. How can you realistically spend on this day can be a discussion fraught with stress and exaggerated expectations.
Adjust your expectations now and try to let go of “perfection.” Don’t expect the planning and execution of the wedding to be smooth. Just like your marriage, there are going to be ups and downs and bumps in the road. The best thing you can do is learn how to deal with the strains now. It’s an invaluable lesson you will use again and again. Try to let go of what others think – this is you and your partner’s day!
Try to recognise the stresses when they occur and learn how to manage them. Stress is a normal response to a pressurized situation and planning a wedding certainly qualifies! A small amount of stress can be quite motivating and can enable you to accomplish many wedding related tasks. However, when that stress becomes too much of a strain and the symptoms often associated with stress (moodiness, irritability, headaches, stomaches) start to overwhelm you, it’s time to take a step back.
Try to identify what is making you feel this way. Can you change the things that are making feel stressed? Too many decisions to make? Consider asking for help from family or friends or delegating certain tasks to members of your wedding party. Struggling to meet unrealistic expectations? Make a conscious decision to change what you can and let go of what you can’t. Learning to support yourself and cope with uncontrollable sources, such as family squabbles or the weather, will go a long way to reducing your stress levels. Prevention, not cure, is the name of this game.
Breathe and take time for yourself. You have found the holy grail of life – someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Enjoy that! Everything else is just icing on your beautiful cake!
How To Cope With Pre Wedding Nerves’ by Psycotherapist Jane Barnfield Jukes.
Psycotherapist Jane Barnfield Jukes is Founder of natural supplement brand Eudeamon (Eudeamon.com). Their Tranquil Plus is a great natural way to help you to cope with pre wedding nerves and is available from Amazon.co.uk, priced £39.99. Jane is also Founder of Online therapy Service The Practice (www.thepractice.co.uk) For a free telephone consultation, please call 0333. 0096 321.